Dateline: 10/03/99
Here it is again. Every year. Like clockwork. It's National Coming Out Day. Once again you have to have that difficult conversation with yourself. You know, the one that starts something like this: "Hmmmm. I'm out to everybody. Who the heck am I going to come out to now!?"
Okay, perhaps I'm wrong and there are still some of you who want to come out, but think it might be more difficult than it really is. Allow me to assist by sharing a recent real life event:
Scene: Outside the office building during a break. Chatting amongst the company president and a few of the lowly employees, including yours truly who has only recently moved to this company.President: So, Deborah, are you married?
Deborah (Well, let's see, I can say "no" but that would be lying. Then again, if I say "yes" they're going to assume that I'm straight, and that is a form of lying as well. Heck, I don't even have a feel yet for whether any of these folks are homophobic, not that that should make a difference as to my answer. In fact, if they are homophobic I wouldn't want to keep working here anyway): Yes.
President: What does your husband do for a living?
Deborah See! There's that assumption aka "that's another fine mess you've gotten yourself into!" How are you going to do this one gracefully, eh? You can just answer, without correcting that "husband" word. But there again you'd be hiding as if there's something wrong. But how to correct it, what if these people are totally clueless and will need a direct "I'm married to a woman, you clowns!" to get it. If they're that clueless you'll be considered to be "flaunting" it merely by trying to make yourself clear. Gah! This will be over one day, right?: My other half works online.
President [nodding]: Other half. Oh! I know what you mean! That's cool!
Deborah I think he means he got the other half as what he said wouldn't have made sense otherwise. Right? Hmmmmmm.
[Entering Stage Left we now have the company's resident dirty old man hereinafter referred to as "DOM"]
DOM [Directed to President nodding towards Deborah]: I really like the new scenery around here, don't you?
President: Doesn't matter, DOM. You don't have a chance with her. Neither of us do if you know what I mean.
DOM [Stupified look]
Deborah [Grinning]
All of this just to remind those of you who aren't out that Coming Out doesn't have to be some big Strike up the Band! type announcement, but can be a refusal to be less than honest when conversing.
Another thing to remember about Coming Out, it frees you to enjoy and explore your other interests without worrying when or if somebody will find out.
In Pride,
Deborah
P.S. Have you read the stories or shared yours about that first coming out experience? Where you come out to yourself?