Private Lies

Dateline: 09/04/98

Darn. That was a typo. I meant to title this feature Private Lives. I'll have to remember to change that. Maybe.

Last night I was watching the news, hoping to see yet another replay of Mark McGwire's historic 62nd home run. In passing I heard a news reporter say something along the following lines, "Many Presidents have been philanderers, Roosevelt being an example. In fact, there are those who believe that Eleanor Roosevelt was a lesbian. But they didn't talk about that. They didn't delve into private lives then."

Honest, I'm not about to get into a who did what to whom in or out of the White House.

But what are our "Private" lives?

This really relates to what we so often here, "I don't mind what you do so long as you don't flaunt it."

Generally that translates to, "I don't mind what you do so long as you never, ever, do or say anything, in front or me, or anybody, that indicates your orientation differs from that of the majority."

(I walk around malls during Christmas and see store after store filled with decorations for Christmas - some include a token Chanukah display. The muzak is filled with Christmas carols, from the fun to the highly religious. Once in awhile one might hear the Dreidel song. All in all, I am surrounded by Christianity. I wonder if anybody has ever stated that the miminalistic Jewish displays are some form of flaunting?)

For the next time somebody says, "I don't mind ... but ..." here is a starter list of questions to ask them:

Are any of the following circumstances flaunting?

• Two women walking down the street holding hands.
• Man has a picture of his male spouse on his office credenza.
• Two men apply for a home loan together.
• Woman introduces another woman as her spouse.
• The daily newspaper carries a wedding announcement for the marriage of two men (to each other).
• Co-workers are sharing vacation plans, and a woman says, "My girlfriend and I are going to San Diego for the weekend."
• A man takes his male spouse/partner to his high school reunion.
• A group of people are discussing divorces, and a woman says, "My goodness! You want to hear tsuris! Let me tell you about MY ex! Her name was ... and ..."

If they say "Yes...." ask them how it's different. Please.

Oh, and why did I call this "Private Lies" instead of "Private Lives?" (You know me well enough to know it was on purpose, right?) Because every time we consciously choose not to do one of the above ... well ... you can finish that sentence on your own.

In pride,
Deborah