Dateline: 2/6/98
In case you hadn't noticed, all over National Freedom to Marry Day on February 12th, but the thought did lead my mind to wander a bit....
Valentine's Day can mean many different things to people. For those who are single, it can act as a reminder that they aren't coupled. For some this is joyous, for others, a less than pleasant thought.
For those of us who are gay and lesbian, as with so many other holidays, there are additional factors to consider.
Valentine's Day is traditionally a day where so many choose to ask for another's hand in marriage or to announce their impending marriage to their families and friends. While we can certainly marry in our own ways, recognized marriage is forbidden to us.
If you have a honey, do you send them flowers (or something less cliche ;>) to their workplace? If so, how do you sign the card? Do you have to use just your initial so that your gender is not obvious? How do they react when people exclaim, "How beautiful! Who is he/she?" and you don't quite know how to correct the gender?
Do you make reservations at the local romantic restaurant, and receive odd glances when you show up on Valentine's Day with somebody of the same sex? Lest we forget, in 1983 Zandra Rolon and Deborah Johnson were refused service in the "romantic dining section" of a Los Angeles restaurant and brought legal action. The restaurant eventually closed their private booth area rather than allow same-sex couples to dine together "romantically."
It has to be even harder for the younger crowd, those still in school. Do you invite and take your current interest to the school Valentine dance? (Do you women give that hot gym teacher a valentine while your female classmates are mooning over some stud male teacher?)
What do any of us do when somebody of the "wrong" sex presents us with an unexpected Valentine?
It strikes me, as it often does, that none of these problems would exist but for two things:
Well, you all know my views on many aspect of the above, so there's no need to "spoil" the holiday.
As for me and mine - we'll be going out to a romantic dinner. I'll grouse about the cost, and T tell me to stuff it. (It's her "turn" to plan the evening this year.) We'll crawl home exhausted at 10:00 p.m., if we make it up that late, then fall into bed exhausted and to sleep.
I can't think of anything much more romantic than that.
In Pride,
Deborah